


Let's Blow this Joint

by InterstellarVagabond



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Androids can get drunk, F/M, M/M, Multi, and if I'm gonna keep writing despite my broken brain I need me some validation, cause whatever, charity events turning into water balloon fights, connor and north are a force of chaos, just the first fic I've been able to write in forever it's really messy, normally messy fics go on tumblr but I get more feedback here than on tumblr, polyam north markus and connor, wr1k
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-08
Updated: 2019-04-08
Packaged: 2020-01-06 17:54:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18393431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InterstellarVagabond/pseuds/InterstellarVagabond
Summary: North hates having to get dressed up and play nice with humans. Connor isn't a big fan of standing around being bored. Markus is too busy schmoozing to notice the trouble they get up to, until he's home and facing it for himself.





	Let's Blow this Joint

**Author's Note:**

> fuck I don't normally write in the tags or post my messy shit here but I haven't written in forever and this self-indulgent little drabble just came to me so enjoy it plz
> 
> I might edit this one day and make it into a longer more coherent work cause I've been dying to write Connor and North shenanigans and Connor North and Markus drunk cuddling after a party for forever

It was only an hour into the event, and already Connor was bored.

Markus was busy chatting up politicians, billionaires, and reporters. Hank had declined to come, the wiser choice by far and one Connor would have chosen had his attendance been optional. Simon and Josh were nowhere to be found, and Connor soon found himself standing idle and alone by a pillar near the bar. 

He entertained himself awhile running facial recognition scans on the guests and pulling up their criminal records or internet history, but one could only look at so much scandal before it got boring. 

Finally, he spotted North making her way over. One of New Jericho’s leaders, looking like a fireball in a dress of red and orange hues. Her fiery glare only added to the image, as she stomped over in dangerous heels. 

“I hate this,” she said with a huff, leaning bodily against the pillar Connor was standing at. 

“Hate what?” Connor asked for clarification.

“This,” North repeated. “I hate this outfit our P.R. guy made me wear, I hate that asshole who keeps trying to get handsy with me, I hate having to play nice with him and everyone else at this stupid party, I hate all of it.”

Connor nodded at the explanation, a moment of silence passing between them as he looked out over the crowd. Then he spoke again.

“Would you like me to break his finger?”

“What?” North asked.

“The asshole. The one who keeps trying to touch you. Would you like me to break his finger?” Connor asked. “I’m very subtle. I’m sure not even Simon would notice.”

North chuckled at the reference to their unofficial babysitter. Then she bumped Connor lightly with her shoulder.

“Just the one finger?” she asked.

“Always best to start small,” Connor replied with a wink.

“Well, I appreciate it, Connor, but I don’t need you fighting my battles for me,” North sighed. “I just need tonight to be over, and some pants.”

Connor looked at North’s dress, pondering for a moment if orange and red were his colors.

“I think we can work something out,” he said. 

A few minutes later a pair of androids were witnessed fleeing the scene of the charity gala. North, with two bottles of Bacardi from the bar under each arm, wearing Connor’s suit and laughing wildly. Then Connor, in North’s dress, tossing one last shrimp puff with devastating accuracy at the forehead of the angry man with the bloody nose chasing after them. 

 

Markus returned to the Manfred estate exhausted and tugging his tie loose around his neck. He wasn’t sure where Connor and North had gotten off to by the end of the night, but figured they’d probably gone with Simon and Josh for drinks after. Which is just one of the reasons he was surprised upon entering the living room and hearing giggles above him.

The second reason he was surprised was because someone had just dropped a water balloon onto him. 

“What the… hell?” Markus shook his arms in a useless attempt to flick off the water. Looking to the walkway above he spotted North and Connor, who having decided that neither of them enjoyed the dress had split the suit between the pair of them. Connor in the shirt and his boxers, and North in the pants, jacket, and a strapless bra. They were the source of the giggles, and the water balloons.

“Drop another, we can outrun him,” Connor said, while North paused to take a swig from one of the stolen bottles. 

“Where are your pants, Connor?” Markus asked. 

“I thought you’d be happier to see me without them,” Connor replied, shrugging and giving a quick smile.

“I thought maybe you two had just decided to behave for the night but,” Markus sighed. “No, you decided to get drunk and naked and to throw water balloons indoors, huh?”

“Join us, coward,” North said, lobbing another balloon. 

Markus dodged the attack. Then he looked back up at his partners, still giggling and leaning on each other. Connor with his hair mussed and North grinning like she hadn’t just had to put up with so much of humanity’s shit. 

Markus smirked, and ran out of sight. North and Connor gave each other curious looks, leaning a bit over the railing to see where he went. North eventually had to pull Connor back, as he was known for falling through windows even when sober, and she could see him tipping dangerously. 

When Markus returned he appeared to be dragging something with him. As he took aim at North and Connor they realized he was pulling a garden hose from outside all the way through the house.

“You wouldn’t dare,” Connor said. 

“There’s so much expensive art up here,” North said.

“And so much expensive soaked boyfriend down here!” Markus reminded them. “You had your chance for mercy.”

At that, Markus sprayed them with the hose. Connor and North both shrieked, grabbing what water balloons and booze they could before fleeing through the house. Markus sprayed them just a few more times before they overcame him with balloons. The three androids ended up in a wet tangled heap of laughter on the floor.

“Oh god, this place is ruined,” Markus lamented, covering his face with his hands. “Why did I stoop to your level?”

North passed him the rum and gave both him and Connor each a kiss. “Because sometimes even you like to have fun.”

“Does he?” Connor asked, raising an incredulous eyebrow. 

“I can at least try,” Markus said, taking a sip and sighing. “This was a long night. I think I’m going to get as drunk as you two and worry about the soaked carpet later.”

“What, cuddling’s not on the agenda?” Connor asked.

“It might be if you decide to behave,” Markus said. The comment resulted in the last remaining water balloon being smacked into his face. This act of aggression prompted a battle of tickling and chasing that went on until the three of them did indeed, collapse into a drunk pile and cuddle happily for the rest of the night.


End file.
